The long period of Portuguese rule has left an indelible influence on the original style of this small state and a large percentage of its population is Christian. The countryside is dotted with many beautiful churches and Old Goa has some incredible old cathedrals. Many families still live in their ancestral houses built in the typical Portuguese style, and as a matter of fact even I live in one of these houses in north Goa now, but this is another story.

Analisa’s family still own the old family home not far from Panjim city and regularly visit on family vacations. The old Portuguese house is full of memories and feelings. Wondering through the huge rooms I could almost hear the generations of people that used to live there and spending the time with the entire family there in the hours before the wedding was an unforgettable experience. It was only natural for Analisa to come here for her wedding and be led to the altar of an incredible church on the hill.

The Church of Our Lady of the Immaculate Conception is located in the heart of Panjim on the hillside overlooking the entire view of the city and built in 1540 it is one of the oldest churches of Goa. The wedding took place just after Christmas and before the New Year and the church was beautifully decorated. The scene of the Nativity and little Jesus in the crib was created at the bottom of the stairs and was so colorful that it almost looked a part of Disneyland.

The wedding itself was simple and beautiful. Having documented such a huge variety of Indian weddings it was beautiful to see an Indian Roman Christian wedding in it’s full glory. Bride’s maids and best men in suits, children holding flowers in their hands and the whole feeling of the magnificent church was quite a change for me.

The wedding reception was held at the garden of the Cidade de Goa where we finally got our share of decorated coconut trees. It was a total fun that lasted well into the night. Here’s to you Analisa and Jaidev. It was truly awesome.

Anu nad Nikhil’s wedding was an arranged marriage as so often is the case in India. It took place on that specific auspicious day when more than fifteen thousand (yes, yes!) couples got married in Delhi alone. The city was full with marriage processions and I was shooting the last wedding for my book on traditional Indian weddings. They both come from traditional Kashmiri houses and I was a little surprised to see so many differences exist between this Hindu tradition and other ones that I have covered over the last few years.

I have noticed that the unique thing about a Kashmiri Pandit wedding, and please do feel free to correct me if I’m wrong, is more to do with the pre-wedding ceremonies and less with the wedding itself. The music, the male dancer dressed as a lady to seduce and entertain the guests, the thread ceremony that reminded me so much of an orange version of an organizations in the USA wearing their iconic white costumes consisted of robes and pointed hats. The alternative to the traditional turmeric (haldi ceremoy) here is a cold, white yogurt that is poured on the bride to purify her skin. There is also a very special ear jewelry that is worn by every Kashmiri woman that undergoes the painful ear piercing before becoming a bride.

The wedding itself has influences form both brahmin as well as Muslim traditions, as could be expected from a Hindu culture that used to live in Muslim populated Kashmir. The Hena, or Mehendi, is applied to cover the entire hand in a way that resembles some tribal Arab traditions from Yemen. The use of a mirror during the ceremony itself is also borrowed from the Muslim wedding ceremonies. All in all, this was one of the most interesting weddings I have so far photographed and one that will surely become one of the larger chapters in my book.

Who are the Syrian Christian people?

The Syrian Malabar Christians are the descendants of the natives and those of the Jewish diaspora in Kerala who became Christians in the Malabar coast in the earliest days of Christianity. They follow a unique Hebrew-Syriac Christian tradition which includes several Jewish elements although they have absorbed some Hindu customs. Their heritage is Syriac-Keralite and their language Malyalam. Much of their Jewish tradition has been forgotten, especially after the Portuguese invasion of Kerala in the early 1500s. A friends once said that “some may claim we are more from the traditional namboothiris (brahmins) of kerala than jewish..but who the hell knows really ”

Popularly known as Syrian Christians in view of the Syriac (classical form of Aramaic) liturgy used in church services since the early days of Christianity in India, they are also known as Syrian-Malabar Christians, Mar Thoma Nasrani, Syrian Malabar Nasrani or Saint Thomas Christians. This is an ethno-religious group from Kerala, India, adhering to the various churches of the Saint Thomas Christian tradition.

What makes a Syrian Christian wedding unique?

The truth is that it was not so easy to photograph this wedding. The couple stood with their backs to the crowd, very close to the bishop, and in such a way that it was practically impossible to take any frontal picture of them together. The altar area is completely off-limits so there was no way I could take a picture from behind the priests and see the couple’s faces.  The bishop himself, dressed in a magnificent gown, wearing a traditional cap and holding a decorated golden staff, was the real show.

For the wedding ceremony, the bride wears an off-white silk sari with a wide border. Her sari ‘pallu’ acts as a veil or she wears a separate veil over her head. She has only very little jewelry on her body. The groom’s outfit would traditionally consist of a white dhoti and a white shirt, but in these modern times not all the traditions are kept. Mathew was actually considering it for a second, but then opted for the relative comfort of a suit. Coming from New York, a suit must have seemed like a good option but I suspect that had he known it would be so hot he might have seriously considered the dhoti option.

As per the tradition, during the wedding the groom presents a new sari to his bride. This sari is called the ‘mantra kodi’. The night before the church ceremony, strands of thread are drawn from this sari by the groom’s sister and twisted to form a cord. On this cord, is tied the ‘taali’, a leaf shaped gold pendant with a cross, inscribed on it. The ‘mantra kodi’ is placed on the bride’s head by the priest and blessed. Not like in a  westerns style christian wedding, in a Syrian Christian wedding it is the priest who puts the rings on the bride and groom’s hands to symbolize the bond made before God, a bond that will not be broken.

Immediately after the church ceremony a reception was held at a nearby hotel were the couple lit the oil lamp and cut the wedding cake. A small pooja was later held at the groom’s home and we all had a good laugh as the local photographer was taking some posed pictures of Mathew and Shilpa in the middle of the living room with all the guests still there. What a lovely day.

]]> http://www.fotowala.in/wedding-photography/a-syrian-christian-wedding-in-kerala/feed/ 43 http://www.fotowala.in/traditions/a-blessing-to-the-newly-wed-couple/ http://www.fotowala.in/traditions/a-blessing-to-the-newly-wed-couple/#comments Wed, 25 Nov 2009 13:38:13 +0000 fotowala http://www.fotowala.in/?p=2972 Hijras are members of what is usually considered in India as ‘the third sex’ – neither man nor women. The hijras usually show up at weddings and at the birth of male babies, to perform religious ceremonies intended to bring good luck and fertility. These ‘ceremonies’ involve music, singing, and sexually suggestive dancing, and although the hijras are most often uninvited, the host usually pays the hijras a handsome fee for their ‘services’. Many fear the hijras’ curse if they are not appeased, bringing bad luck or infertility, but for the fee they receive, they can bless goodwill and fortune on to the newly born or the newly wed couple.

A wedding photography experience that I will never forget

I was at a reception of a Sikh wedding at a large farm house outside of Delhi. The wedding was the day before and this party was pure fun, no religious ceremony. Guests were having a good time but there was nothing ‘interesting’ to shoot. The evening was not going to pick up more than it had already and at one point after getting my share of ‘OK’ images, it was time for me to leave. I was a little disappointed of course, but as I was approaching the gate on the way to get my car, I noticed a little unexpected crowd. I came closer, and realized that an argument was taking place. Voices were loud, but it all seemed like a well played show. There was a group of hijras at the gate.

One cannot anticipate when or where hijras will show up so cannot plan to photograph them, but I needed pictures of this ‘ceremony’ for my book and there it was. I had my camera still on me and I started shooting using the light from the passing cars and the street lamp. They where acting out, trying to embarrass me using obscene gestures and profane language but I was so happy I was simply smiling and taking pictures. the whole event ended peacefully as money changed hands to everyone’s relief and I had my pictures.

Zahid and Aashti met through mutual friends while Aashti was visiting Delhi on holiday, being based in Washington DC at the time. He asked for her phone number and subsequently they went on their first date. The rest, as they say, is history. He proposed to her the next day, and she, of course, accepted. She then went back to Washington, quit her job, packed up her stuff and moved back to Delhi. She had been gone thirteen years but moved back in four months.

Their wedding was “a bit of a traditional mish-mash”, as Aashti describes it. Zahid’s family is from Hyderabad and the former princely state of Palanpur, and Aashti’s is from U.P. and Kashmir. There were many rituals that were shared in common but some that were more unique to one side or the other. Here are a few images of this fantastic Muslim wedding in Delhi.

The groom arrives at the wedding venue with his baraat (wedding procession). A band of musicians announce their arrival. He is wearing a Sherwani, the traditional men’s garb of Hyderabad. It is a coat-like tunic with a tight-fitting collar (fastened with hooks), close-fitting in the upper torso and flaring somewhat in its lower half. It usually has six or seven buttons, often removable ones made from gold sovereigns for special occasions. The material is usually silk or wool. A groom may use gold brocade for his wedding sherwani, but otherwise good taste dictates understated colors, albeit with rich and textured fabrics. The sherwani is usually worn over a silk or cotton kurta (long shirt) and pyjamas (baggy pants with a drawstring at the waist).

The bride is wearing a traditional Hyderabadi outfit known as the Khada Dupatta (standing veil. It is an outfit composed of a kurta (tunic), chooridaar (ruched pair of pants), and 6 yard dupatta (veil) and is traditionally worn by Hyderabad brides. The necklace, earrings, and thick bracelet on the bride’s wrist are from her mother in law’s great great grandfather, Nawab Mohammed Zorawar Khan of Palanpur, and are about 200 years old.

While the Khada Dupatta was new, it was specially woven in Benares and was in pure gold thread. The design of the fabric was inspired by the Dupatta that was worn by the groom’s great grandmother on her wedding day. The brides outfit is accompanied by traditional jewellery, one of which is a Tika, a medallion of uncut diamonds worn on the forehead and suspended by a string of pearls.

Covering the head during a wedding is a mark of respect. The ghunghat, which is equivalent to the veil of the Christian bride, is worn by the bride. It may vary in length, covering not only the head but the shoulders, back and almost down to the waistline. Aashti’s ghoonghat was handmade by the groom’s great grandmother and is over a 100 years old.

The bride’s sisters and brothers hold the sides of the cover over her head as she makes her first entrance.

A Maulvi (priest) in the presence of close family members and relatives conducts the Nikah (wedding ceremony). The bride and groom sign the Nikahnama separately and then the couple are pronounced married. The ‘Walis’ (the father of the bride and of the bridegroom) play an important role in the ceremony. As a father, each must ensure that the rights of his child are protected. The Maulvi reads selected verses from the Quran, the holy book of the Muslims. The Nikaah is complete after thIjab-e-Qubul. (proposal and acceptance). Usually, the boy’s side proposes and the girl’s side conveys her assent. The mutual consent of the bride and groom is of great importance for the marriage to be legal. Neither of them must be forced to enter into the marital contract. The Nikaahnaama, the document in which the marriage contract is registered, contains a set of terms and conditions that must be respected by both the parties. It also gives the bride the right to divorce her husband.

The groom receives blessings from the older women and offers them his salaam (a respectful salutation). The guests pray for the newly-weds.

The “Arsi Musaf” is a Muslim wedding ritual and is performed after the signing of the Nikah and before the time of departure (Rukhsati). A veil is placed over the bride and groom’s head and a mirror is placed on their laps. Traditionally, this would be the first time the groom would see the brides face in the reflection of the mirror and vice versa. They drink sweetened water from the same spoon to signify that they are indeed betrothed. “It is a very tender and sweet ritual as the bride and groom have a moment to themselves” says Aashti.

The bridegroom’s Safa (turban) and Sarpech (headpiece) belonged to his great, great, great grandfather, while his sherwani was inspired by his own father’s wedding shervani. It was also woven in pure gold thread in Benares.

I will not try to take you through the entire wedding and all the ceremonies and rituals, but here is a small taste of what it was. I hope you enjoy them.

Nandi Mukh is a complex ceremony conducted by a priest and performed a day before the wedding, when the bride pays her respects to several generations of ancestors. After the ceremony the offerings are given to the birds and considered as if the ancestors come in the form of crows to give the blessings.

One of the accessories that distinguishes the Bengali bride from that of any other community is the ‘kajal-lata’ (kohl stick) and the ‘gaachh kouto’ (a wooden can that is supposed to contain sacred vermillion) that she carries in her hand.

Aiburobhat is the last meal of the unmarried girl at her parents house. The women of the family take turns in blessing and feeding her.

The turmeric ceremonies or gaye holud (Bengali: gaee holud, means “yellowing the body”) come before the wedding ceremony. There is one turmeric ceremony for the bride and one for the groom. At the groom’s home female relatives of the groom apply the turmeric (haldi) on him and douse him with water. The same turmeric paste is then sent across to the bride’s home for her Gaye Holud ceremony.

Gaye holud tattva -Is a set of presents for the bride from the groom’s side. One of the most important gifts is the fish with sindoor (vermilion) & nose ring, accompanied by five little fish to symbolize fertility.

The blowing of the conch shell and ‘ululation’ by the women gathered at the wedding venue are most characteristic of a Bengali marriage. The purpose is to draw the attention of all to the wedding, and also to summon the invitees, and  also a kind of social declaration from the family to the rest of the society.

Left: The water container (‘matka’) with the coconut and mango leaf is placed outside the home and symbolizes lord vishnu. Right: The drawing behind the entrance door is called ‘Vasudhara’ and symbolized the search for peace in the home and is a part of the offering of the Nandi Mukh

The gifts arrive at the girls home include at least six sarees with blouses, petticoats and cosmetics to go with them. Also among the gifts are assorted sweets, curd, paan, dhaan and durba. A relative of the groom arrives at the bride’s house with an entourage of women bearing the gifts. Incense is lit welcome them and conch shells are blown. The bearers are given sweets and bakshish (reward).

For the bride’s gaye holud the turmeric paste is applied by the bride’s friends to her body. This is said to soften the skin, but also colors her with the distinctive yellow hue that gives its name to this ceremony.

After the application of the Holud, the mother of the bride walks around the neighborhood to ask water from five different ladies. This water will then be used in the Snan ceremony.

The snan literally means bathing. In this case, it stands for the bathing rituals that the bride and groom must individually follow on the day of the wedding. After bathing, the bride and groom must wear the new set of clothes that have been presented to them by their in-laws.

Dressing up the bride and putting on her special make up is a ritual in itself. The traditional Bengali bridal make up is an elaborate affair.

Saat Paak – The bride, usually seated on a low wooden stool called pidi is lifted by her brothers and is taken round the groom in seven complete circles. This symbolizes that they are winded up securely to each other. She covers her face with betel leaves which will be moved apart to enable the couple to make eye contact for the auspicious viewing.

The bride removes the betel leaves for the ‘shubh dhristi’, or the auspicious ‘viewing’ of each other. The couple will now exchange garlands and the groom will proceed to the ‘mandap’ (marriage platform) followed by the bride.

The couple are seated on an elevated platform and all the guests are invited to bless them, give their presents and have their picture taken together with the bride and groom. This is an exhausting process that might take a couple of hours.

The bride and groom are seated opposite to each other and their hands are tied together while the priest chants mantras.

Yagna – The bride and groom sit in front of the sacred fire and chant mantras after the priest. Agni, the fire god is made the divine witness to the marriage. Seven circular rounds are then taken by the couple around the fire thereby solemnizing the occasion.

The Bidaay or farewell ceremony, takes place a day after the wedding and is a mixed moment of joy and sorrow as the bride is bid adieu with blessings of her parents and relatives to start a new life with her new husband.

Varshini and Alex, or as everyone calls him; Mithun, had a Syrian Christian wedding in Coimbatore, not far from the Kerala border with Tamil Nadu, in south India. Varshini actually comes from a traditional Tamil Hindu family, while Alex is from a Syrian Christian family originally form Kerala. I was in Madurai, Tamil Nadu, to photograph the Hindu ceremonies form the bride’s family side and was going to come back to Delhi right after without shooting the Christian wedding, but then I had a talk with Mithun’s father. He had argued that since I am doing a book on Indian weddings I must come to Coimbatore for the Christian ceremony. A book on Indian weddings would not be complete without a Syrian Christian wedding, he said,  and so I accompanied the family to Coimbatore after the Hindu ceremonies in Madurai were over.

Who are the Syrian Christian people?

The Syrian Malabar Nasrani people, also known as Saint Thomas Christians are an ethno-religious group from Kerala, India, adhering to the various churches of the Saint Thomas Christian tradition. They are also known as Syrian-Malabar Christians, Mar Thoma Nasrani, or more popularly as Syrian Christians in view of the Syriac (classical form of Aramaic) liturgy used in church services since the early days of Christianity in India.

The Syrian Malabar Nasranis are the descendants of the natives and those of the Jewish diaspora in Kerala who became Christians in the Malabar coast in the earliest days of Christianity. They follow a unique Hebrew-Syriac Christian tradition which includes several Jewish elements although they have absorbed some Hindu customs. Their heritage is Syriac-Keralite and their language Malyalam. Much of their Jewish tradition has been forgotten, especially after the Portuguese invasion of Kerala in the early 1500s.

For the wedding ceremony, the bride wears an off-white silk sari with a wide border. Her sari ‘pallu’ acts as a veil or she wears a separate veil over her head. She has only very little jewelry on her body. The groom’s outfit would traditionally consist of a white dhoti and a white shirt, but in these modern times not all the traditions are kept.

The sari which the groom presents to his bride in church is called the ‘mantra kodi’. The night before the church ceremony, strands of thread are drawn from this sari by the groom’s sister and twisted to form a cord. On this cord, is tied the ‘taali’, a leaf shaped gold pendant with a cross, inscribed on it. The ‘mantra kodi’ is placed on the bride’s head by the priest and blessed.

In a Syrian Christian wedding it is the priest who puts the rings on the bride and groom’s hands to symbolize the bond made before God, a bond that will not be broken.

The couple on the other hand, are well traveled and know what they want. they want the new documentary approach and not to be forced to stand the attacks of the photographer directing them into the strangest positions on their own wedding. they want to see the magic and they cant get it. why? because although the venue might cost a Zillion dollars and the flowers alone cost enough to feed a medium size village for a year or more, the photography should cost about Rs 20,000 (about $400) and the parents cannot be convinced otherwise. They know the price as everyone in the family have been using the same guy since ever, and they “KNOW” they can ‘trust’ him )
What they end up with is a sad event where the couple miss the best day of their life, suffer for the sake of the pictures for the next generations to see, and get the absolute worst results. I think the majority of the young couples in India would agree with me but in this society, at this point in time, it is what it is and that’s it!

what do you think?

And since no post is good without pictures, here are a few more from the Buddhist wedding in Ladakh. They did not have a problem with photography. they simply do not hire a photographer as they only care about the present and not the memories Live in the NOW!